By Rusty Hat
Late night gig in the hills of Pomona. It was a rough start as Angela Spit of the band Zombie Kill Kill Kill, smashed a 40 oz, bottle of Old E. on the head of bass player Pudz Rong.
“I really hate that bitch,” says Pudz,”Dude, she dated our lead guitarist Johnny like from 2 years ago, we have had 3 different guitarist since then. Seriously, I just shake my head daily as to why we put up with this, and then she makes us remember why….she will fuckin kill us!”
Angela is one of the most energetic front women I’ve ever seen, but god damn her voice sucks so bad. It’s like what do you do, one hand I love the energy, but on the other hand my ears are bleeding and wanting the cat screams to stop. Imagine nails down a chalk board with a side of drill plowing through your cranium. It’s kinda like that.
No matter how good she thinks the band looks, they will never be able to pull off a recording. Why do I say this? Because they tried, and the funeral for the second sound engineer was just sad because no one showed up. No one in town even liked him. Angela was there though and she is so messed up. She drop kicked his ashes into the air and yelled, “GOAL!!”. Then she looked back towards us and said, ” You are next fuckers if this Album doesn’t get done, got it?!”
I am so scared right now for the band, they slipped me a small note that said, “HELP US!”
I am thinking of writing to the cops but I think she is stalking me down now too, I’m pretty sure she might be reading this right now.