by Bc Caldwell
Most bars and venues make a concerted effort to make sure that everything in their venue looks amazing to the customer, especially the bathrooms. They always make sure that things are extremely clean and well-maintained so that the customers feel comfortable using those facilities.
This is not the case at the Ass Juice Bar & Grill in Albuquerque New Mexico
The Ass Juice Bar & Grill is a touring staple for most hard-core and punk bands traveling the nation. It’s a place to stop and get a little gas money to get to the next gig afterward. The one issue is that the crowd wants to support a “Street Cred” venue. Since it is the only punk venue in town, the bar makes a concerted effort to make the bathrooms absolutely disgusting.
They throw stink bombs into the stalls at the beginning of the night. They have even gone to the extreme of finding roadkill and hiding it in the bathrooms to get an extra special stench for the customers to within.
Stickers align the walls there’s spit and loogie’s hard dried to the walls. There is graffiti everywhere around the sink and toilets. It is absolutely vomit-inducing and every customer is aware of that. The pictures are nationwide on Instagram. Everyone knows what a disgusting place this is, we needed to talk to the owner to ask why does he leave it this way.
Johnny Crusher, owner of the Ass Juice Bar & Grill said this,”Oh trust me I tried to do it the other way, this place almost looked like a jazz club with velvet curtains, but then the bands and the crowds just would trash the place. One day I just let it keep falling apart, in fact, and this is the kicker…”, he said.
“I started getting more customers! They all said, “hey cool vibe in the place”, I thought what the hell is going on, so in the end, I just decided let’s go the other way, let’s just make it look really disgusting. I bet they would laugh and cry at the same time. Boom a complete marketing explosion, now we get bus tours that roll through just to takes pics of the bathroom. Hell, half the people here right now don’t even listen to punk rock, they are here to get a pic in the toilet!”
Stent Vomit, lead singer of the band Crucified Saw, gave me that idea. He said,” Man you got to make those bathrooms disgusting, I bet they would post that shit all over Instagram as the most disgusting bathroom on the planet.” Johnny continued, “That’s when I saw the light. I immediately began to make the most disgusting looking bathroom I could. I looked at every horror movie and episode of Hoarders, the TV show. I came up with a perfect solution. Well over 1 million photographs of these bathrooms later it has brought in so much business. I could’ve never imagined this. I love my disgusting bathrooms and I love my disgusting little venue and screw anyone that thinks it’s not cool because you know what in the end it’s filling in my pockets, and that’s all I care about. God bless America.”
As you can see there was no swaying this venue owner and after his explanation, I totally got it myself. The Ass Juice Bar & Grill is still one of the best places to play in town and the crowds are always good well into the night. We bid you farewell and we hope that you continually keep that bathroom absolutely disgusting.